How come things have to get really bad before they get better? How come it feels like there's a tornado of events in your life, during which time you're trying to grasp so tightly on to something connect to the ground to essentially ground you and keep you safe? How come you get way too confused before you become clear?
I have absolutely no idea. It's just that way. Confusion dawns clarity, someone said. And I memorized it. Cuz it's easy, only three words. :) GREAT. Thanks.
First, there's the easy list of things you're grateful for. Like, of course I'm so super thankful for my friends. I honestly don't know what I would do without their LAUGHS and support and just always being there. I feel like I have people to lean on, because of them. So truly thankful. It's super easy for me to be grateful for things that I love, like my dog, my big old backyard and now new porch, the fall in SC... It's not so easy for me to be grateful for the rough times. And it's those times that teach me the most, and prepare me for those lovely times I get to spend with the easy list.
And then there's the hidden list. In talking to one of these soul sisters yesterday, I was reminded of being thankful for even being in this position. "Thank you God, for this gift of learning through experience". It's not to say, wow yeah thanks so much for the pain. But it's just being grateful that I'm here learning what I need to learn, and it's right in front of me. I say that jokingly yet that's where I need to focus. And for that I must be grateful.
It kind of reminds me of an eclipse, in that it takes an extremely rare occasion to reveal this beautiful perfect picture. And it's auspicious and dark, at the same time. And at those times it's said that things and people act really weird, or you'll feel weird, or you'll discover something new. It's a time to just notice whatever you sense, and remember that if it seems super strange you can probably blame it on the eclipse:). I say that not only because an eclipse reveals important things that may be dormant or hidden but also because it can be super rocky when it shows you what it needs to. Remember that! It's not just you.
Hidden things. Things beneath the surface, that you didn't really know where there. Things that can seem pretty rough but are really such true and bright learning lessons, you have no choice but to add them to your gratitude list.
Who cares if you have a good list and a bad list, a white list and a black list, a sunshiny list and an eclipse list. Awareness of those items for which you're grateful is where the truth lies.
Re-focus gratitude. I've learned that just yesterday. Thanks Stef xx. And thanks Eric for showing me to learn so much about one other person, so very different than myself. And for taking me on this path. It can only make me more whole.
#grateful
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