Hidden Gratitude

How come things have to get really bad before they get better?  How come it feels like there's a tornado of events in your life, during which time you're trying to grasp so tightly on to something connect to the ground to essentially ground you and keep you safe?  How come you get way too confused before you become clear?

I have absolutely no idea.  It's just that way.  Confusion dawns clarity, someone said.  And I memorized it.  Cuz it's easy, only three words.  :) GREAT.  Thanks.

First, there's the easy list of things you're grateful for.  Like, of course I'm so super thankful for my friends.  I honestly don't know what I would do without their LAUGHS and support and just always being there.  I feel like I have people to lean on, because of them.  So truly thankful. It's super easy for me to be grateful for things that I love, like my dog, my big old backyard and now new porch, the fall in SC...  It's not so easy for me to be grateful for the rough times.  And it's those times that teach me the most, and prepare me for those lovely times I get to spend with the easy list.

And then there's the hidden list.  In talking to one of these soul sisters yesterday, I was reminded of being thankful for even being in this position.  "Thank you God, for this gift of learning through experience".  It's not to say, wow yeah thanks so much for the pain.  But it's just being grateful that I'm here learning what I need to learn, and it's right in front of me.  I say that jokingly yet that's where I need to focus.  And for that I must be grateful.

It kind of reminds me of an eclipse, in that it takes an extremely rare occasion to reveal this beautiful perfect picture.  And it's auspicious and dark, at the same time.  And at those times it's said that things and people act really weird, or you'll feel weird, or you'll discover something new.  It's a time to just notice whatever you sense, and remember that if it seems super strange you can probably blame it on the eclipse:).  I say that not only because an eclipse reveals important things that may be dormant or hidden but also because it can be super rocky when it shows you what it needs to.  Remember that!  It's not just you.

Hidden things.  Things beneath the surface, that you didn't really know where there.  Things that can seem pretty rough but are really such true and bright learning lessons, you have no choice but to add them to your gratitude list.

Who cares if you have a good list and a bad list, a white list and a black list, a sunshiny list and an eclipse list.  Awareness of those items for which you're grateful is where the truth lies.

Re-focus gratitude.  I've learned that just yesterday.  Thanks Stef xx.  And thanks Eric for showing me to learn so much about one other person, so very different than myself.  And for taking me on this path.  It can only make me more whole.

#grateful

Quote of the day...

It is vitally important not to confuse what matters least in life with what matters most.  I don't know who said it, but it's been with me all day.  Words to live by, no doubt.

What else?

Apparently this blog has been my ugly step child for the last 1.5 years, poor thing.  Which is a really weird saying, by the way, because I think I would love any step child I ever had.  Digression.  In that large lump of time, I got married and moved from NC to AZ to SC.  I fell even more in love with my dog, and now she has a humongous yard that she's in love with.  I've gotten to travel all over Italy, and had a few more fun wekeenders as well.

Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all.  OK now I'm just on quote-roll.  That's my mom's go-to via Helen Keller.  I like it.  Sometimes don't you just want to relax in something, though?  I love the adventure, but I also love downtime once in a while.  How do you know the best balance?  Seems like you have to go with your gut.  With what feels right.

And, to get there, I have learned it helps to be free of clouds that hover over your spirit and your body.  Clean eating, as well as other cleanses (neti, body brushing and eye wash) help with the body.  Teas. Even incense to clear the space around you.  Meditation and chanting and other forms of bhakti yoga help with the spirit.  

I just bought a deep blue and hot pink meditation stool.  From World Market.  And I love it.

Now onto those practices...here we go.  Again.

Keep Calm

This is what I tell myself right now. But all I want to do is run and jump and play and go shopping and hang out with friends and family and eat and drink and be merry. Ahh!!! It's the holidays and I miss and love everyone that I miss and love.

And we have 1.5 days of work left. So I have to buckle down.

A bit.

And I even wish I had more presents to buy or wrap, so I'm thinking of things to keep me in the merry spirit. Although I have been only living in it! Xmas music during sadhana every morning, during every drive to the gym, store or yoga...I'm in it dear sir.

I am just excited and trying to use brahmacharya to maintain the senses.....

PRACTICE practice practice.

Do the yamas and the niyamas ever get old?

Pun intended.

Love and be merry.

From someone who is soon to be married!

-Me.

It's Friday

And that means we get a release from the week of work! And the gift is a lightness and a freedom. And having the girls over for a sleepover. Woop!

Today I received this quote:

"A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song."

-Chinese Proverb 1831-1881.

A good quote to remember...let's all give what we're here to give. We don't need to solve the worlds problems! Just do our part. And do what we love. Cuz they go together.

LOVE.

On healing...

"The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest patients in the care of the human frame, in diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease."

—Attributed to
Thomas Edison

"I make the most of all that comes.

And the least of all that goes."

-Sara Teasdale (1884-1933)

This quote has stuck with me since I came across it. Only to recently research a bit more about its author. Turns out Sara was a poet who suffered from poor health most of her life. Her fate may have been dark, but her words, these words, prove a good reminder to me in how to face the waves in life.

With a smile.

:)

Satya

Truth in our hearts and our beings. This week's practice is with satya, the second nama or restraint in Patanjali's Yoga Sutras. And I can't help but love even the written word! It's beautiful, inside and out. To me, this practice of satya reminds me to be honest with myself in my heart. What really matters to me? What is superficial and what is real? What will make my heart happy? What will help people? What will positively affect those that I love? There are so many ways to instill satya into your self. I have been doing it via chanting and reciting it as mantra (word or group of words capable of creating transformation).

Since the first half of Yoga Therapy training I have been waking up at 6am, meditating from 6:30-7 and doing asana from 7-8. The asana flows from what I feel I "need" with a few "regulars" that my body appreciates and a bunch of other asana/kriya that my body needs on a given day at a given time. So when I practice the asana I feel as though I'm creating space in my body, within my cells that constitute my bones, breath, blood, skin, ligaments, tendons...and within that space I place the intention of satya.

I want to instill that feeling of truthfulness in my heart as a "part" of me, as a physical and spiritual part of who "I" am. And really, who I am is really that which connects to everyone..that which we are all. A higher being, a higher love (no intended Steve Winwood props). And that is what makes me feel closer to the truth. It's almost a circle of truth. It takes me practicing to get in touch with that truth, and this truth is the universal truth upon which all beings connect. And it is from that truth that the world moves. I just like connecting to the source. It makes me feel pure. Like a big ball of light. It reminds me of what we all already know.

Which brings me to my job as a yoga teacher.

To remind people of what we already know.

Love.